


You're Full of Surprises

by exbex



Series: the Lew/Turnbull series [7]
Category: Californication, due South
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-03
Updated: 2010-08-03
Packaged: 2017-10-10 22:38:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/105151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exbex/pseuds/exbex





	You're Full of Surprises

Lew keeps a working list of sexual escapades.  Occasionally he adds a fantasy or “goal” to the list, but mostly it’s for recording the interesting experiences that he’s add, or the best hookers.  He rarely passes up the opportunity to add to the list.

 

When Renfield Turnbull showed up at a party at the mansion, he dismissed him at first as some rent boy, that one of his guests apparently had a uniform fetish.  But listening to Turnbull talk made him realize that he was the real deal.  When he realized that Turnbull kept giving him nervous but wishful glances, Lew bypassed the logical question of _why is there a Mountie in my house? _in order to add to his list.

 

Lew flopped down on the bed after ushering Turnbull into the bedroom and locking the door (normally he didn’t care if someone walked in, but he figured the Mountie might want a little privacy).  “Okay Dudley Do Right,” he leered at Turnbull, “show me what you got.”

 

The Mountie was efficient, Lew had to hand it to him.  In a matter of seconds, Lew was stripped and, what the hell?  Turnbull had whipped off that tie-thing he wore and had tied him to the bedposts, then he had pulled out a tube of something that he snapped open….

 

This was where Lew drew the line.  He’d given it to a few women and the occasional guy up the ass, sure, but he himself was always a “exit only, no entry” guy when it came to that particular act, list or no.  But now he was tied down and naked…oh fuck.  “Hey buddy,” he tried his most disarming tone, “I’ve got some sweet guitars, a couple of paintings, some jewelry, I’ll give you the number to the safe, get you some cash, how ‘bout we call it even?”

 

Turnbull steadfastly ignored him and shoved his face right into his crotch.  Lew lost his train of thought as Turnbull used his tongue to hit that spot right behind his balls, and inserted his slicked up fingers right into Lew’s ass.  He moaned and couldn’t help but thrust his hips up, which apparently Turnbull read as “please shove your tongue right into my hole.”  Lew didn’t even have time to protest with a tongues are welcome anywhere but there, because, apparently, he should have tried the whole rimming thing before, because he was coming all over himself.

 

When Lew woke up several hours later, someone had untied him and pulled the covers up over him.  He threw on a robe and stumbled into the kitchen to find the Mountie poaching eggs, whistling, and looking better than he had the right to in an apron.

 

Lew would always wonder if Turnbull, the sneaky bastard, had planned and plotted this bizarre beginning to their relationship.


End file.
